Animal Bedlam and the Third Sliced Finger

Now that the cat is out of the bag with my folks, I can announce to the world that Stu and I are the proud parents of a wee little street pup named Veli. Pictures to follow. I think we adopted a monster disguised as a dog who likes, above all, to pee on carpets, chew furniture, and eat cat shit. Oh, I forgot snotty rags! Veli lo-oves to eat snotty tissues. (And who says dogs are smarter than cats?)

Speaking of cats, sad news...The vet. put my Button down. His exact words? "I open cat's belly. Very bad. I put her down." This he says five hours after the murder. Thanks for telling me Dr. Death.

And now for a confession. The other day I picked up a kitten in very bad repair and nursed him back to semi-health. I thought he'd do his nut (Stu). Too many animals in the house. Veli tried to play with/eat the cat. The cat would get scared; go behind the television and poop everywhere. Thankfully, we found a lovely home for the kitty and now we're down to the shit-eating dog. If babies are like this, I may decide against getting "knocked up" as Stu so eloquently puts it.

Yes, yes, I did cut another finger while cooking. Not a bad cut this time, and I don't even remember what I was doing. Maybe God is through exacting revenge. One can only hope.