What has British television taught me?

1. The Brits are every bit the potty mouths I hoped they would be. And their public service announcements? Horrifyingly priceless. (Think graphic image of dead child with mangled limbs on the side of the road.) I promise I will never do 40 in a 30 mile per hour zone ever again. In fact, I think I will never drive over 30 miles per hour ever again. Maybe I'll just walk. Really slowly...

2. Who is Russell Brand? I mean...Oh my God. Yesterday, I laughed so hard, I peed my pants. Just a little. Is this cool? (Not the wetting of the pants, the infatuation with this Brand character.)

3. I am addicted to Waterloo Road, primarily because of that young hottie, Tom Payne. I mean, hello...And no-oo, this is not at all gross and inappropriate because he's probably the age of consent in real life. I hope. Otherwise...Oh dear.
(Aside: You know, I see a pattern emerging. Men with beautiful eyes...I love 'em. And that includes you, hubby dearest.)

4. It is just weird the amount of food-based reality programming on British television. If you want to get in shape, lose weight, eat to love better, eat to eat better, then there's a program out there for you. Personally, I've learned a lot. Do you know eating soup can help you feel full for longer? Damn hell, I'm getting on that.

5. Thank you, British television, for giving us female characters that actually look like real life women. They are sassy, funny, foul, fat, thin, beautiful, and not-so-beautiful. They burp, they fart. They even have cellulite! These women are actually women I might know, and that's truly beautiful.